The most important rule in social media is this:

You have to care about your customers.

If you don’t care about your customers, then don’t get involved with social media. If you can’t own up to your mistakes, forget it. If you don’t plan on really engaging with people, and having actual conversations, stop wasting your time.

The biggest thing about social media that is different from traditional media or marketing is that it is no longer a one-way conversation. If you’re not out there participating in the discussion of your brand already, I guarantee you someone is. Consumers are talking to each other, sharing their complaints about bad interactions and sharing their stellar reviews of good ones. But if you can’t be real and address the complaints when they happen (as well as share in broadcasting the successes) then you won’t succeed in social media marketing.

One of the most successful people in online media today is Gary Vaynerchuk. Gary honed his expertise in the wine industry, and when he created his video podcast Wine Library TV , he grew his parents’ wine business from $4 million to $45 million. He gives viewers an unconventional take on wine, saying “First, I want people to try different wines. How can you have a favorite if you only know a few? Second, I tell people to trust their palates. If a wine appeals to your palate, then it’s a good choice. Don’t feel pressured to like popular brands or what experts recommend. Buy what ‘brings the thunder’ for you.”

Vaynerchuk is real, he brings personality and enthusiasm to everything he does, he is a poster boy for authenticity and transparency, and he owns up to his mistakes when someone calls him out on them.

Twitter, Facebook, Flickr, and other social networks make it easier than ever to get on your cell phone or your laptop and share messages, photos, and videos—instantly. And the popularity of these services means we are all more connected than ever, and news spreads like wildfire. This puts a lot of control back in your customers’ hands—anyone could share their review of your business—good or bad—that might get broadcast to the world.

Small Town Rules

Like in the 50’s when everyone knew everyone, and gossip spread quickly. The best shops in town really took good care of their customers and went above and beyond to build a good reputation. Vaynerchuk calls this Small Town Rules . “One individual’s voice is now bigger than ever,” he says, and the only people who will win at the social media game are “the brands that actually give a crap about their users, the ones that are actually providing service.”

That means you have to treat everyone like your best customer. It’s near impossible for your mistakes to go unseen anymore. If you’re not addressing people’s concerns, replying to the talk about your brand, and providing stellar service, businesses like yours won’t exist in 10 years.

Gary still runs his multimillion-dollar wine business like a family shop. He does his best to send replies to everyone (even if just a smiley and a quick thanks), he takes full ownership of his mistakes, and he treats everyone like a rockstar. When I botched an important interview with him , Gary even went out of his way to make time in a busy book tour schedule to create a special video for my blog community. I was truly blown away!

Gary’s dedication to his community has made him a gigantic success in the social media space. Are you listening to the conversation about your business? Are you responding to people’s complaints? Do you care about your customers? Are you providing stellar service? These are the real key ingredients to success in this new marketing environment, and if your answers are ‘No’ I suggest you find a new business.

Cody is a nomadic entrepreneur & lifestyle designer who helps social changemakers & other remarkable people spread their message on the web.

Tags: conversation, customer service, customers, discussion, Gary Vaynerchuk, Garyvee, podcast, small town rules, Social Media, social network, social networking, Wine Library